It’s mercury retrograde (May 29 – June 22) which means an ex will inevitably reach out…

By Tanisha Brown

I have always felt that I could choose my own destiny. When I say, “choose my own destiny,” this applies to certain areas of my life. For example, when I wanted to make more money in my corporate job, I looked to find a job that paid more. When I wanted to gain weight, I looked for ways to put on weight, which lead me to my love for fitness and weight training.

I am saying this to say that there are things in life that can be controlled and altered.  This has always been my way of thinking. Not only through life but especially in relationships with men. Which is why I am ok saying… Yes, I am in my late 30’s and yes I am SINLGLE and yes I am OK.

As I begin to think about myself as a little girl, I never been the type of girl to dream about her prince charming or wedding. I never thought of what type of dress I would wear let alone my bridesmaid attire for this “special day.” I never thought of my future child’s name; however, I did say if I ever had a child, I may need my sister to carry the baby in her body for 9 months (she is so sweet and would, I love her) or I would need to have twins to get it out the way, the first time around so that I can politely plan and schedule my mommy makeover. 

Moreover, I started to dig even deeper… I realized that growing up my mother never pressured my sister and I about having children or constantly remind us that she needs grandchildren. She was different. My mother reminded me to take my time and the right one will come when you’re ready. However, in contrast, she will always remind me the importance of having an education and to never depend on a man to give me anything. Why? I would ask. She would always say, “Get it on your own so that no man can ever take it away from you.” Followed by “Create a life for yourself so that you don’t have to struggle, and you can take care of yourself and buy whatever you want when you want it.”

For me, this lesson played a huge part of why I never been in a hurry to find a boyfriend. I would date and have a good time, but the boyfriend title I took very seriously. My dad once told me, “The man that you bring to this house he is going to be right, because YOU chose to bring him to me.” This always stuck with me, and being raised by strict parents mean that they expect the best and want the best and would be disappointed if I didn’t choose the best. So, there was that and also the fear of being vulnerable yet again to end up with a broken heart. A broken heart where the sight of food makes you gag, you have no appetite and just feel weak and feeble under the covers. You ask what this means… well let me explain.